lovE mE, loVe me NoT???

lovE mE, loVe me NoT???,
originally uploaded by sharonkee10.

When I was chatting online in the ICQ with one of my friends today, he told me that he still LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!! NONO!! How can it happen? I already have a boyfriend for almost one year already... The worse thing is that he already has a girlfriend, almost same time to have her as his girlfriend after I announced to all my friends saying that I have a new boyfriend... Almost one year... Is not a long time, but yet it is not a short time... I suddenly realized that he has a girlfriend but loving another girl at the same time... How sad it is... :'(

I was so shocked until I starred at my LCD for several seconds... The words appeared on the screen, make me shocked... How can it be??? Since last time, I never know that I loves me before... All the helps he has given to me, all those things that he has done for me... Every time I asked why did he treat me so nice, he only told me, "I am the kind of person who likes to help people around.. So please don't take this personally and fallen in love on me... For this moment, I am not thinking I want to have any girlfriend yet..." A very simple answer, but yet it has a lot of hidden meaning in it...

Until today.. I only got knew that he has loved me a year ago... One year!! He told me that those things he have told me because he didn't want to let me fallen in love so easily on him because of all the things he had done for me... He wanted to be friend with me first... He wanted to get know more about me first... But then when the new semester started, when he started to buried himself in toned of schoolwork and assignments... He said he had totally forgotten about me... Not even contacted me for a simple greets... Until the moment I told him that I have a new boyfriend already... Then only he felt that emptiness... Then he only knew that he has lost the chance to tell me how much he loved me... All the regrets and sadness came at the same time...

I couldn’t think properly... All things happened in the sudden... The truth just suddenly pops in front of me... I couldn’t accept this... I always thought that after one year, the love will fade away if the waiting returns nothing... But the reality was not... I was totally wrong… He really loves me... HOW HOW?? The first things was playing in my mind was how do I talk to him to let him let go of me? Furthermore, he has a girlfriend already... Sadly to say, if I ever knew that my boyfriend still loves another girl when he is my boyfriend, my heart will be broken into thousand pieces... Never can be easily to be mended... I couldn’t imagine if someday I can meet with this kind of situations... But inside my heart I pray hard...

I talked to him for quite a long time... Luckily in the end he said he will learn to let me go... Else I will feel guilty inside my heart that I already indirectly hurt his girlfriend... I pray hard for her, hoping that her boyfriend someday will realized her good and treat her nicely with his all love...

Love is such a strange thing... But somehow, I realized that it does hurt someone deeply sometimes if we never learn how to let go of it when it is fade...

Let me pray hard for all the couples in this world... May their love blossoms with happiness...