depreSsiON????!!!!

Don’t know why lately feel very depress and down… Been very bad mood for few days… Always very proud to myself that I is the master of my own emotion… Somehow, this time I fail to control my own emotion… Why???

Yesterday just sitting there did nothing for whole night… Let my mind fly away just like a kite… Hanging around here and there… But the more I am thinking about the reason, the moody I was… Feel really bad… Also don’t know what happened…

Boyfriend some more in Swiss now… Suddenly feel very angry at him…. I sent so many sms’s to him, but didn’t get any reply from him… Maybe that was one of the reason I feel very moody now… He always likes to break his promise… Told me that want to send sms to me at this time, but he didn’t!!! I felt really angry…

Talked online with my friend via ICQ… Told her about my depression and my angry… I asked her opinion if it is a better way if I beak up perhaps temporary with my boyfriend for a moment?? Her answer was NO NO!!! She said how can treat my boyfriend in this way?? Maybe I should talk to him over my unsatisfied towards him and tell him my feelings… I felt a bit released after I talked to her… But still the depression still there… I still couldn’t sweep away my depression… I really don’t know how…

I have made up my mind to talk to my boyfriend when he comes back… I hope everything will fine for me… I suddenly feel bad and pity for my boyfriend… All these time, he has to put on with my bad temper and moody attitude… But he still patience with me… Still talked softly to me even if I shouted loudly to him… Thinking of this, I felt little bit more better… =) My friend was right… I should have seen all those good things that he has done for me… But not keep on looking those small tiny bad things as the excuses to hate him or dump him… It’s really a bad thinking…

After all, it’s my own feeling and depression… Maybe my depression might cause by him, but still for me, he always the best boyfriend that I have ever have… I should always appreciate him as my dear one…

All of the sudden, I feel the world is beautiful…. =)